Today feels like a down day. I woke up groggy, out of it, with a bit of anxiety underneath the surface of being.
I drank my water, cleared my nostrils with warm salt water, wrote in my journal, and sat for meditation. In the midst of my chant a feeling of lightness appeared, but soon after the down returned once more.
I got dressed, had some yogurt with trail mix, a few supplements and headed out the door to drive to the studio.
In the car as I was listening to my beloved chant to Hanuman, a feeling of sadness welled up inside, a few tiny tears appeared on the surface of my eyes, and then space and lightness once more.
As the chant concluded, my mind kicked into swift background conversation, and out of nowhere the down was palpable once again.
When I try to analyze the pattern, or the why, I come up with a need for more structure, or maybe omega 3's, or maybe more connection with people.
But what if the reason--if only for today--was not as important as simply riding the swells of emotion?
What if the celebration that I am alive and able to feel both the sweet and the sour is good enough?
I have so much to be grateful for and my life is a dream. But that does not make me immune to the cycles of living, to the full experience of being human, to the down days that are guaranteed to also knock at my door.